The Journal of a Sex Life Frequently Spent
I spent the evening with my lover M who was quite horny. She straddled me on the couch, gave me a hot blowjob, after which I took her from behind in the dark living room. We retired to the bed eventually where she came with a vibrator while sucking me. I came all over her breasts. Afterwords we went out for dinner. We do so enjoy each other.
A few days ago I posted a fantasy sent to me by K, a woman who answered an ad I placed in SF Weekly. The fantasy, entitled The Surrogate, described what she wanted to happen when we met for our rendezvous.
The ad I placed was just a short two line invitation to women who were interested in anal play. Mine was not by any means the only such ad, you always get several of them in any random collection of sex ads, but K liked mine. She left a voice mail telling me she was interested, giving her work number in a very confidant and straightforward manner. I called her up, introduced myself and asked if she was free to talk. She told me to hold on while she closed her office door. We exchanged some basic information about our mutual sexual interests and arranged to meet in person to check each other out the following day.
The rendezvous was after work in the bar of a downtown San Francisco hotel, one of those luxurious business hotels not far from Mascone Convention Center (see my previous post for why I like such places for this type of meeting). I got there early ordered a drink and settled into a comfortable seat with a good view of the entrance.
I didn't have to wait long until she showed up and recognized me - I had told her what I would be wearing and that I'd be reading a particular magazine. I must say that I was quite impressed. She was Asian, in her early 30's, with a thin and petite figure and a face to match. She had on minimal makeup, a pair of wire-frame glasses perched delicately on her petite nose, her black hair in a neat pageboy cut. She was impeccably dressed in stereotypical business attire, a tasteful dark matching jacket and skirt, reaching to just below the knee, black hose, conservative black shoes, a black trench coat draped over her arm and a large black soft leather briefcase in her hand. You could have picked her right out of a stock photo depicting the perfect upwardly mobile young Asian business woman.
The whole effect was quite stunning, and it got better. After we said hello and she dropped off her stuff on a chair she went off to the bar and ordered a martini for herself, bringing it back with a confidant step. The picture of this elegant young woman sitting there, sipping a martini in posh hotel surroundings was positively cinematic.
We got to know each other.
The story she told me may or may not be true, but if it was not then it certainly should be. If the gods chose to throw down this delicate china doll my way I was not about mess with their gift by poking holes in her story. Needless to say I was far more interested in poking her other holes. She told me she was a junior executive at a large bank. That much at least I knew to be true from various other clues. She also told me that she was in a lesbian relationship, living with her lover but going through some unspecified rough patch. She said that every once in a while she had the need to feel a man, and that she really liked anal play with her partner and wanted to scratch that itch with a guy. My ad and voice mail message turned her on and here we were. As you can imagine the delightful mental pictures evoked by this story were flying though my head at the speed of light.
Her conversational manner was very concise and to the point. She would say what she wanted to say, then stop, letting the silence linger. I got her entertaining story and some details about her past sexual experience simply in the course of trying to fill the conversational voids, which to the best of my judgment did not discomfort her at all. Ordinarily I don't delve too deeply into a woman's private life because it's none of my business, but in this case I kind of wound up asking all the questions almost by default.
We chatted for about a half hour while she finished her drink, a feast for the senses throughout. Eventually I asked if she was interested in playing with me and she said yes. She said that she had a specific fantasy in mind. We exchanged email and she said she'd write it up and send it to me. I would arrange a place for us to meet and we would coordinate next week. We gathered our things and strolled out of the hotel, me to drive back to the South Bay and she home to her lover - or so I prefer to believe being the stereotypical, red-blooded, lesbian loving guy that I am.
A couple of days later the email arrived with her fantasy and we arranged our rendezvous. But that is a story for another post, so you'll just have to wait for it with your hand in your panties.
The issue of location came up in one of my earlier posts. Actually it is two issues - the location for meeting somebody new when setting up an assignation, and the location of the assignation itself. Neither is as straightforward as you might think.
Typically if you're meeting a stranger for sex you want to check them out ahead of time, both for safety and for compatibility. Yes, that's even true for guys like me who don't generally have much to fear in terms of physical safety. Believe it or not I am concerned about meeting psychos and women with whom there is no chemistry. I've run into a bit of both, though never really had a bad experience at least partly through good planning, or so I would like to think. Maybe I've just been lucky.
But back to location. If you're meeting somebody to talk about hot robot monkey sex you generally want privacy. At the same time if the person is a stranger you want a public location for safety and all around peace of mind. You would think that women would be really concerned about meeting in a public place, but surprisingly some are somewhat oblivious about that. I always worry about those.
So what works and what doesn't for those pre-assignation meetings?
In general cafes and Starbucks (which deserves a category all by itself) are the absolutely worst places for such meetings. They are typically small and either have people sitting practically in your lap at other tables, or there's one person in the joint who has the benefit of a nice quiet room to listen in on your conversation about the charms of buttfucking. They also have lots of caffeine which is absolutely the last thing that an already nervous person should be ingesting while trying to make a good seductive impression. There are exceptions. For example, a large cafe at a time of day when it's mostly deserted, say between lunch-time and rush-hour. You can go off in a corner or maybe some outside table and pretty much talk in private without being bothered.
The other stereotypically popular meeting choice is a bar. Bars suffer from the same problem as cafes during popular times of day, lack of privacy. But they are not entirely hopeless, because if they are large and the crowd is sparse chances are you can find some booth or table off in a corner and get some privacy. They do have the advantage of offering alcohol, which is quite effective at making people more relaxed and sociable. Despite this I'm not crazy about bars (with one exception given below). The ambiance is just all wrong. Meeting in one does not give a good first impression. Also, maybe it's just the kind of women that I attract, but most of them are emphatically not into the bar scene, much like myself.
So what's left? What provides both a public venue and some measure of privacy?
Surprisingly I've had good luck with large hotels. Either the lobby or, yes, the hotel bar. Major hotels like the Hilton in San Francisco or the Fairmont in San Jose are perfect for such meetings. Plenty of space to find a private seat, ambient noise to mask your conversation, a chance to order an elegant drink. The bars tend to be large and empty, the lobby sprawling with comfortable seats, the locations convenient. As an added bonus the crowd is generally nicely dressed and makes for good people watching while you're waiting, or for that matter while making conversation with your date. There's a modest hint of international intrigue to such meetings, or at least it's fun to imagine so.
Public outdoor locations are also quite effective, at least when the weather is good. A nice plaza, like the Embarcadero in San Francisco, or a nice public park like the Bandshell in Golden Gate Park. Plenty of places to sit or to wonder off on a walk in full view of a lot of people with full privacy for an intimate conversation. Safe and convenient.
The other surprising venue which is oddly effective is the funky burger joint. You know the kind, large dim space with wooden booths, maybe with carved initials in the tables, serving plain but good burgers and beer. The places are seldom crowded other then at specific times of the day/week, the booths offer plenty of privacy, the beer offers an effective social lubricant and you can always get a good piece of meat if the date doesn't work out. Ahem. I know of several in the South Bay and have had good luck arranging relaxed meet-and-greet sessions in them. Not as formal as the large hotels, which can be an advantage sometimes.
But what of actual venues for sex? That presents its own set of problems and is really a topic for another post.
I placed an ad in SF Weekly seeking women who enjoyed anal play. Several days later K left me voice mail saying she was interested. She was very honest, direct and left her phone number. I called her and we chatted, exchanging email addresses and met in a public place a few days later to check each other out. After we set up a meeting to play she emailed me the following document which explained what she wanted. I reproduce it here in full. The story of our encounter will be in an upcoming post.
K writes:
Pre-fantasy: I am wearing a business suit, pantyhose, panties and bra. You are nicely dressed but not too professional looking. You lead me to the bathroom so that I can take a quick shower to freshen up.
If I feel that we are going beyond my limits, I will use the word "time-out"
The Surrogate
You are a surrogate that I have been sent to see by a sex therapist. When I walk in, I see that you've placed two chairs directly across from each other. You take me over to the chairs, you tell me to sit down, and you ask me why I'm there to see you. I'm very nervous as I tell you that I've been very unhappy with my sex life lately. My boyfriend has been trying to get me to experiment with anal sex but I just can't seem to please him and don't know why. You tell me that you think that you can help but that I must do everything that you tell me to do. I agree to this.
You tell me to take off my shoes, stand up, and turn around. You tell me to bend over and grab onto the arms of the chair...you then hike up my skirt and begin to rub my ass through my pantyhose. You tell me that you seem to be doing all of the work, so you sit down and tell me that it's my turn. You tell me to take off the pantyhose....slowly. Of course as I'm doing this, I have to bend over so that my ass is right in front of your face. After I have done this, you tell me that I'm going too slow so you have me bend over the chair again. You run your hands slowly over my bottom and when you run your finger down my crack over my panties. I let out a gasp and pull back. You give my bottom a sharp slap and tell me not to pull back again. You pull down my panties and then sit back down. You tell me that you want to inspect my anus so you tell me to pull my cheeks apart. You comment on the fact that I look extremely tight and will need a lot of work to relax my muscles down there. You then run your finger down my crack and I let out a gasp. You ask me if I like how this feels...and I can only moan in response. You lubricate your finger and begin to finger me slowly as I move my body in response. You tell me that our work has just begun.
You tell me to go over to the bed .... and you tell me to get my bottom over the pillows that you have stacked there. After I've done this, you ask me how it feels to have my bare bottom thrust up into the air and I reply that I feel embarrassed. You tell me that this is normal. You tell me to spread my legs and although I do, I suddenly feel the slight sting of your hand as you tell me that I need to spread them more. I quickly comply. You run your hands over my bare bottom and as you do so, you inadvertently push my pussy into the pillows. I begin to moan. You spread my cheeks and tell me that I'm very tight...so you'll have to start loosening me up. You being to finger my asshole and you tell me to relax. After I've begun to do so, you tell me that it's time to stretch my anal muscles...You bring out a small dildo and while I'm watching, you lubricate it. You tell me to look forward and then you spread my cheeks and begin to enter me from behind. As you slowly enter me, I am pushing my pussy against the pillows...which of course means that my clit is becoming swollen and I am getting wetter by the second. I tell you that this feels good and that I don't want you to stop. You tell me that your cock has grown extremely hard and it hurts to keep it in your pants......so the next thing I hear is your zipper going down.
You replace the small dildo for a slightly larger one and as you pull out your cock and begin to pull on it, you begin to slowly fuck my ass with this new dildo. As I begin to thrust my pussy harder into the pillows, you tell me that it is your cock that I'm feeling in my ass. I continue to moan and tell you that I love feeling you inside me, fucking my ass.
You suddenly pull out of me because your cock is throbbing and you need to come soon. You get on your hands and knees next to me and tell me to fuck your ass. I tell you that I've never done that before and don't know if I can. You tell me that I'd better do it or else I'll be punished. Knowing what that will mean, I quickly get up, pick up the dildo and slowly enter you from behind. As you tell me how fast you want to be fucked, you being to stroke your cock faster and faster. Your breathing becomes more labored and you close your eyes....experiencing the pleasure of fucking and being fucked at the same time. You try to hold on to that feeling, but it doesn't last long.....because you begin to feel the waves of an orgasm approaching....and finally you come explosively all over the bed.
I become so turned on by watching you come that I need to touch myself. I lie on my back and as I spread my legs and begin to rub my clit, I beg you to fuck my ass. You slowly enter me with your fingers, hold them there and tell me to squeeze them. By now I am so wet and ready to come that all I have to do is push my fingers into my pussy.... and as I squeeze your fingers, I come.............
You end the session by saying that although you think that I've learned a lot today, you think that I'll need follow-up sessions.
K's fantasy ends here. I will post the account of our session in a future entry.
My excursions into the emerging field of blog sex theory lead me to propose the following definition:
| blogsex | The act of having sex with another blogger, with both participants then blogging about their experience. |
I should note that one of the search results returned as of today for blogsex touches on the etymology of the word. It is from a blog called a small victory, where Bill from the Billegible blog posted this sentence:
"No no no, the bed the size of Lichtenstein has stations set up all around the perimeter. We can have group blogsex *and* post about it simultaneously".
In my definition of blogsex I purposely do not place any time limit on the blogging of the sexual experience since I feel the requirement to have sex and blog at the same time may be too rigorous for general usage. For this I would coin the second term:
| realtime blogsex | Having sex and blogging about the experience while having sex. See also mutual realtime blogsex where both partners engaging in sex simultaneously blog about the experience while having sex, and group realtime blogsex where all members of a group engaging in sex simultaneously blog about the experience while having sex. |
Needless to say realtime blogsex should only be attempted by trained professionals.
Any examples of blogsex or realtime blogsex my readers can send me would be most welcome to complete the documentation.
Meanwhile, in the spirit of scientific research I'm prepared to submit
myself as a research subject in the emerging field of experimental blogsex.
Contact me if you're in the SF Bay Area and are willing to give it a go
Yesterday I met J who responded to one of my carnal ads. After some email back and forth we arranged to meet at the Valley Fair Mall in San Jose. Not my favorite location for such things, but I had some errands to run there and it was a short drive for her from downtown, where she works - something to do with marketing and sales. I arrived early and sat outside the inevitable Starbucks catching up on some reading when she spotted me. She walked up tentatively asking if I was the one she was to meet.
She was in her mid to late twenties, a little shorter then me, her dirty-blond hair a bit wind blown, cascading on either side of her face to her neck. She had a nice figure, a healthy girl not to thin, not too plump, athletic, with good curves in all the right places. Her face was slightly long, with a sharp nose and large eyes which gave her a bit of a startled look which was quite endearing. A pretty girl who will become a very handsome older woman.
After we greeted and exchanged some pleasantries I noted that there was not much privacy where we were. That's the trouble with places such as Starbucks and the Mall at lunch time. There are too many people around to carry on an intimate conversation. I'll have to write up some of my thoughts on this in one of the upcoming entries. In this case there was one of those lumpy older Asian grandmothers a couple tables over, waiting for some family and paying entirely too much attention to everybody's business. I suggested that we take a walk somewhere with more privacy and we moved away.
We eventually made our way outside, the only place where there was not constant traffic back and forth interrupting our conversation. She was naturally curious about me, what I was looking for, about my past encounters and what I liked. I answered her questions and asked my own, mostly trying to make sure I was dealing with a genuine person and not some psycho likely to cause trouble. I asked her about her experience (a handful of guys) her likes and dislikes (giving blowjobs hurt her jaw, she liked getting head) and what she expected. Just the usual give and take customary in such situations. She was a bit nervous but as we talked and joked around a bit she relaxed and smiled, a bit shyly, but with what I judged to be genuine interest.
Before we got together she told me that she could meet me during lunch time but had to get back to work for some meeting. So this was basically a meet and greet session, getting know each other and setting up something for later when we both had more leisure. As we talked though I felt very comfortable with her and given that we still had some time before she had to leave I decided to make a suggestion. Not really expecting much I asked her if she would like to go into the parking lot for a quick Jack and Jill session.
She looked startled at the idea and I could see the mental gears turning as she thought it over. The thought that she might be uneasy going into the parking lot with somebody she just met only occurred to me after the question popped out. I suppose it's a tribute to my dubious charms that her lust won over any thoughts of me being some sort of dangerous mall masher. She smiled and agreed.
We made our way to my car, both of us grinning and exchanging speculative glances. After we settled in my car we had to move it to a less crowded part of the parking complex so that nobody would bother us. This process was complicated by the fact that chunks of the parking tarmac were being re-paved. My car has plenty of room and leather seats. Given the mild day outside the seats were warm without being hot, so I suggested that while we ride to the other side of the lot she might pull down her pants, get started playing with herself and enjoy the feel of the warm leather seat on her butt.
Her grin got bigger and she told me I was wicked, muttering something about not believing she was doing this under her breath. Since there was nobody immediately around us she unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them down to her knees along with her panties - white, full cut bikini, with a tiny ruffle in the waist band - planting her naked behind on the seat and exclaiming about how nice and warm it felt. Naturally I had to run my hand up her thigh and feel the outside of her pussy, running my fingers through her light brown hair and up and down the still dry, slightly protruding outer lips. She likewise reached over and felt my cock through my jeans as I got the car into gear. I tossed her a blanket in case we came up beside some tall car and she had to cover her lap and pulled out to go to the other side of the lot. As we drove she moved her hand down to her crotch and started to play with herself while leaving her other hand kneading my crotch.
We got to an empty part of the lot - the rotten economy ensures plenty of spaces in that giant Mall - and I parked, putting a sun shade on the windshield for added privacy. I also had a good field of view in the mirrors so that nobody would sneak up on us undetected. By this time my cock was quite hard and her pussy quite wet, making little squishy sounds as she fingered herself. I unzipped and took out my cock, which she proceeded to take in her left hand while continuing to work with her right. I felt her up again. She was quite wet and I slipped a finger into her while she rubbed her clit. The position was a bit awkward, she was on my right in the passenger seat with a console arm rest between us. Being right handed I could either feel her up or jack off effectively but not do both at the same time. After taking my hand away I smelled and tasted it making her grin again. As she was getting into it her jeans were in the way so she tossed off her shoes, the kind with a big clunky platform heel which I never care for, and slipped her jeans and panties off of one leg. The enthusiasm with which she did this led me to believe that any hesitations she may have had about the proceedings were long drowned in a flood of raging sex hormones.
Here I was with a raging hardon and a wet girl naked from the waist down squirming on my passenger seat. You can imagine what ensued as we both started jacking and jilling while casting lascivious glances at our respective faces and inflamed crotches. Our only interruption came as the Mall patrol drove by a few parking rows over. We paused and made a grab for the blanket but they never even glanced our way.
Now I'm fairly sure that if I asked we could have fucked right there and then but circumstances were just not right. Fucking in a car is awkward even in the best of times and I never really found it comfortable. I had also neglected to bring condoms since I only thought we were going to meet and feel each other out not actually feel each other up. A tactical mistake on my part, I'll grant you, but the proceedings were quite erotic as it was, so I felt no particular urge to slip my cock into her. Smelling her fragrance - a hint of lavender soap I think, mixed with the mild musky smell of her pussy - copping the occasional wet feel and watching her go at it was quite sufficient to make me come.
After about 10 or 15 minutes and mindful of the time I told her I was going to come and spewed with delight while her eyes were riveted on my cock and her hand was furiously rubbing her pussy. As I slowly stroked my cum-covered cock in the afterglow she sped up her rubbing closed her eyes and came. Her face got very red and she emitted a few quiet moans, like she was swallowing the sound, and her body shuddered. It was a lovely sight I must say.
We sprawled there grinning at each other and said how hot it all was. After a couple of minutes she noticed the time and started scrambling back into her pants, and said she had to go. I cleaned up with some tissues zipped up my pants and started the car, driving her back to her parking space while she readjusted herself and smiled with pleasure saying that this was "Really, really cool!". As I pulled up to her car she put her hand below her on the seat and said exclaimed "It's wet!". "Don't worry about it" I said, at which point she teased with "I bet you'll smell it later!". I laughed out loud and said that I must be slipping because it hadn't even occurred to me until she mentioned it. As she was getting out we hurriedly promised to email each other to set up another session and off she went back to work.
I drove home with a big grin on my face, a satisfied cock, and her smell wafting through the car. I'll have to sponge off that seat eventually. But not just yet.
This whole nice episode yesterday made me think about car sex in general. A Russians poll of dubious provenance says that " Eighty-four percent of the respondents admitted, they loved having car sex, they tried to think about this passion not less than once a month." Shockingly, the act is also partially illegal in Italy of all places, home of sexy cars and sexier women.
This is not to be confused with sex with cars, though the FAQ on the subject may help you if that's what you're into. A visual or two might also help.
And since I know some (most?) of you will enjoy that kind of thing, there is some high quality free car sex hardcore porn at the Sodom.at site.
I've started this blog to document my sexual adventures. That's a bold statement, I'll grant you. Most people have trouble enough just finding some decent sex let alone finding carnal delights which raise to the level of adventure. But over the years I have found that if you go forth and boldly seek it out, sure enough, adventure will find you. To paraphrase (and surely embarrass) Louis Pasteur, chance favors the prepared penis.
My past is not particularly important but I suppose I should mention it in passing. I started early in my teens, initiated into the fleshy delights by the ministrations of an older woman - a situation which has much to recommend it, I assure you. After some fallow school years I blossomed in my horny manliness and cut a modest but enthusiastic swath through the female population of my college. It was around this time after the requisite experiments in murky dorm rooms that I discovered my tragic heterosexuality - trendy bi-play left me tediously unaroused. Yes, it is the female flesh which is my siren song, especially when the sirens lounge upon my rocks (those wishing to slap me for that pun, get in line).
I continued my hedonistic explorations after moving to the San Francisco Bay Area in the 80's, finding no shortage of carnal opportunities of every description you care to name. It was an exhilarating time, punctuated in my memory by the pervasive smell of latex as the sexual community adopted to the realities of the post-HIV world. There were fucks, friends, and lovers, though not in the frighteningly vast numbers you may imagine. It was a happy time, but such rabbit fucking is a young man's game and in due time, difficult though it may be to believe, it does grow old. As I settled into my career and stable relationships I left that world behind me. Since then fine steady lovers and the occasional brief and happy sex fling have kept me reasonably content.
So now I find myself in the pleasant prime of life (yes, yes, it's been all downhill since 17 on the orgasmic quantity front, but good combat experience trumps mere numerical superiority) and almost by accident it seems my sexual life has become adventurous of late again. No, not the swinging from the chandeliers in leather jodhpurs kind of adventurous, but rather the happy chance meeting of intriguing women with whom recreational and occasionally kinky sex is the adventure. But then, to quote Guy Holden, "Chance is the fool's name for fate" - is it not?
